Why Communication Is Key To Help Understanding

Posted 4hrs ago
by Martin Sturman

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Someone once moved away from me on a train because of my tics. They didn't say anything, didn't check on me, they just got up and left.

Moments like this stay with you. Not because people are always trying to be unkind, but because they don't understand what Tourette's can really be like.

This misunderstanding, lack of knowledge and lack of communication is something many of us live with everyday.

When Tics Affect Communication

When people hear the word Tourette's, what do they often think? Swearing and obscene language.

But for most of us this, that's not the reality.

For me, most of my vocal tics are simple clicks, whistles and random noises. Yes, I occasionally do have the odd tic that results in swearing; but even without that, Tourette's can still have a massive impact on everyday life. A recent event really brought this to the forefront for me.

When Systems Don't Adapt

I recently had to deal with a financial issue with my bank and everything had to be done over the phone.

Because of the stress, I could feel my tics getting worse and worse. I found it difficult to even get a full sentence out and got asked to not swear by the representative on the other side of that call.

In the end, I had to hang up.

Not because I didn't want to deal with the situation, but because I couldn't.

I asked if communication could be via email or in writing. For me this would make things much easier and allow me time to compose clear responses.

The bank refused, advising me all communication has to be done either face to face or over the telephone.

It took a full escalation to the financial ombudsman to get the bank to eventually engage.

The bank is now happy to engage with me via email, but why did it have to take a complaint to make it happen?

A Moment That Stayed With Me 

I remember one time, I was on a train coming home from Dublin.

It was busy and a woman sat beside me. I was ticcing badly that day and after a short time, she got up and moved. Choosing to stand for the journey.

There was no curiosity; no concern, just a reaction based on assumption.

This kind of moment stays with you.

And often, tbey could be avoided with simple communication.

If that person had felt comfortable asking, I could have explained my condition to her and helped her to understand.

When people don't understand something, their reactions can come from confusion and discomfort.

Why I'm Speaking Out

I decided to speak publicly about my experience because I realised I can't be the only person facing these challenges.

In Ireland, there doesn't seem to be a lot of awareness around Tourette's. I've only met a small handful of people with the condition, and for a long time, it felt like I was dealing with it on my own.

A Simple Message

If there's one thing I would like people to take away from my experience, it's this:

Tourette's doesn't stop someone from communicating; but sometimes it changes how we need to be heard.

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